previously on Dumbgeons and Dragons.
I will do my best to find somebody who might be able to help you.
And you make it up the stairs and back to the council chamber.
And as you step through the doors, there is an uproarious applause.
Lady Laeral Silverhand stands up and says, we are all gathered here today because we
are about to embark on the final battle, hopefully the most victorious battle.
We have assets from all the factions around Faerun and beyond, and we must decide where
they are needed.
Welcome to Dumbgeons and Dragons.
We are a D&D 5th edition actual play podcast and I'm your dungeon master Russ More
and with me today is Carla Johnson.
That's me.
I play new Laura Moonbrook.
And Tom Laird.
That's me.
I play Flint Firebeard.
And we're going to be playing a game tonight where we're starting the battle.
Oh, Amy More too.
Right.
Oh boy.
Oh, oh.
Also with me, Amy More.
I am formerly the wife of Russell More.
I play Thea Amastasia.
You can call me Amy Gilmore now.
That is my maiden name.
Seems fair.
I like that your maiden name is just a longer name, longer version of your current name.
It's literally half.
It was part of the interview process.
It's like, how easy can you make this last name thing?
Well, we tried to combine them and I always found it stupid.
More Gilmore, Gilmore More.
Gilmost.
Gilmore More.
Gilmost.
Nothing sounded right.
How's everybody?
How's everybody feeling tonight?
Like I've made some mistakes and I'm going to be punished for them through the entire
I'm not even a part of this podcast anymore.
It's just off the top.
Just off the top.
It's fine.
Really no segue there?
No.
Hey, you can find us on Patreon.
That was a beautiful segue.
Oh, it was terrible.
It was miserable segue.
Hey, if you really like this robe, you can't see it unless you're a patron.
It's banging.
Why don't you come visit us on Patreon?
You can see my robe.
That's a segue.
That was really good.
We didn't mention the robe prior to that though.
We did just right now.
So I couldn't have thrown it.
I brought up the robe.
Patreon.com slash dumb dragon cast where you can see Amy's robe.
Because one of the things you get if you're a patron is you get to like
watch a video of these recordings.
And you get to listen to different games and you get to I mean,
there's a whole bunch of stuff you get, you know, at various tiers.
And when you're a patron, we we shout out an episode to you.
Or that's not how you say that.
Almost makes sense.
No, but it's fine.
It's actually made sense.
We dedicate an episode to you like today's patron, Lee Henderson.
Lee Henderson.
You're awesome.
I want to put a thank you out to our patrons as well because
I mean we got to go to PodCon because of our patrons.
And I got a new microphone that sounds way fucking better than my old one
because of our patrons.
And it lets us like just make the show better.
So thank you to everyone.
All the thank yous.
Yeah, we couldn't do without you guys.
Not as well.
Definitely not as well.
Well, I guess I guess, yeah, we could continue to do.
But it wouldn't be nearly as cool.
Right.
Having all you cool, cool people with us.
Fuck it.
Let's play D&D.
Where we find you now, you are on the road.
You have boarded an airship and it is a five day journey.
Are we on the road or are we in the air?
I mean, yes and yes.
The road to in the air.
Well, maybe you're not even maybe you're not even in the air.
So you tell me where you are because there are
you are traveling to the well of the dragons
and you are meeting up with the various militaries
and people who are going to be helping you along the way.
So some of you at some point or another
may have been in an airship.
Some of you may be on the ground.
So you tell me where you are.
I think I'm probably riding on the ground.
I'm really good at describing travel.
I thought you were making fun of Russ again.
I was like, God, Amy, I mean, you're really leaning into it.
But no, I mean, yes, that was a dig at him.
Because you're meant to be and you're in love.
So you kind of make the same old doofuses sometimes.
It's romantic.
So I think I'm riding tiny.
You found him.
I found him.
Tiny always comes back to me.
There's something magical about horses.
Where'd you leave tiny?
You know what?
I left him in water deep and like homework bound.
I mean, you should hear like to see the things he had seen.
And didn't we just leave water deep?
That's where we left from to get to the road.
I was just going to let her go with it.
Because I couldn't remember the city that we had just left.
You literally just said it too, didn't you?
Yeah.
Thanks for listening.
That's why it was so top of mind for you.
Can we maybe just devout water deep for Baldur's Gate?
When did you go to Baldur's Gate?
When I left tiny.
It's been a real long time since we've seen him.
No, you left him in water deep.
Okay, fine.
I left him in water deep and I just like picked him up.
Because he's still mine.
I know.
I just wanted to see where that went.
Well, you know, it was going to be a big story.
You know, it's gone.
Flint, where are you hanging out while travel is occurring?
I'm on top of one of the airships making good use of my looky-loo.
Oh, and what kind of things are you seeing?
Oh, I'm seeing all of the things, Russ.
All of the things.
Do you want me to tell you what kind of things you might see?
I would love for you to tell me what kind of things I'm seeing.
All right.
I just wasn't sure.
As you look through your looky-loo throughout your travels,
you see, much like you've seen on some of your other travels,
empty and charred villages.
The longer you travel, the more you see.
Occasionally, you see a survivor running in the opposite direction of you
and your military at this point.
Because we are going towards the problem.
Yeah, and they, as they are running,
they are looking, you see them looking over their shoulder
as if to look for the signs of dragons flying behind.
Is there a way that I can pass that information along to people on the ground
so that maybe they could pick these people up?
Sure.
What kind of device are you going to steal
that can talk to the people on the ground?
Oh, that's a good question.
Maybe some sort of like smoke signal device?
How about a tin can on a string?
Oh, that's much better.
Very long string.
Yeah.
Yeah, you can call it a walkie-talkie.
In Faerun, that's amazing.
That's right.
I don't think we had those on Earth.
I feel like the 20s, the 30s, the 40s.
We're really not very advanced.
Who are you trying to pass this along to?
Who's down there?
Who could I talk to?
Down there, you can find many different people.
Most specifically, riding near you,
you can probably pass it on to Ambassador Conor Red Bronnenville
or Lord Daggelt Neverember.
Oh, Neverember all the way.
You drop down your tin can.
Yeah, what's up?
I got eyes on some fleeing villagers
in the 11 o'clock range, or at least my 11 o'clock.
I'm not sure where you're looking.
We're all traveling the same way, soldier.
I mean, you're all going in the same direction, are you?
But I mean, he could be one of those fancy lords
that rides backwards on his horse.
Oh, right.
You know, as was the custom at the time.
One of those.
Yeah, he's backwards on his horse on the airship.
Everyone's confused.
It's a lot, a lot going on.
Yeah, he looks and he sees and he says,
yeah, I see him.
We'll take care of him down here.
You see a few soldiers run ahead
and take him with them back towards the main caravans
and help him back through to the other direction.
Nularaaaa, what are you doing?
I think that right now I am probably like walking
with some of the like general kind of troops people,
volunteer people to like, you know,
lift morale and chat with the common folk.
I mean, I'm common folk, but you know what I mean.
The non-decimators of dragons.
You're walking with a few in particular
and they notice you come up to them
or they just kind of notice
that you're in and around their area
and one of them comes over to you
and he's more of a portly farmer type.
You could probably judge from looking at him
and he comes up to you and says,
excuse me, are you Nularaaaa?
Nularaaaa Moonbrook?
I am.
What's your name?
Oldgar.
Hey, Oldgar.
Thanks for being here.
I know it's, uh, you don't,
please don't take this the wrong way.
You don't seem like you're a professional soldier.
So I appreciate you being here.
I'm not, I'm not.
I have fought my fair shares of bar brawls in my time
and walked away okay,
but this is something different.
I actually joined the militia because of you
and what them decimators of dragons are doing.
Wow.
Well, um, thank you and thanks for being here
and I think we're all gonna,
we're gonna do, uh, we're gonna do great.
It's all gonna go super well.
Don't you think?
The hope that you and your crew has brought to all of us
is admirable and we hope we can,
we can do right by you and everybody else in Faerun.
Well, we're only three people,
so we've all got to do this together.
So everybody is doing equal effort, I think, in this.
So thank you.
The thank yous go back and forth for another long.
25 minutes.
It's non-stop.
It's nice though.
It's a long, yeah, it's, yeah, it is nice.
Is there anything that you three want to do
on these travels, either together or separately,
just to either pass the time or
get any information that you might not otherwise have?
Man, if we don't already have the information,
we don't even know what we don't know.
Yeah, that's totally what I'm thinking.
Like, you know, Laura is just like,
I'm ready to fight.
Let's do this, like.
Okay.
Russ, do I have any sort of, like, survival guide
for going up against dragons that I can, like, run some people through?
Like, some simulations?
Like, you have someone dress up like a dragon down there
with, like, a crate on his head with a dragon.
I could, like, wheel out the blackboard
and get a little pointer and be like,
this is what you do in the following situations
with the certain colors of dragons.
Sure.
Not to, like, chomp your flave, but, like,
they're my favorite enemy.
Like, I am an expert on dragons.
This seems like something that Laura should be doing then.
Sorry, Flint.
No, that's totally good.
Here's how I want this to play out.
I want Flint to gather a group of people
under the assumption that he is going to teach them dragons
and then teach them dragons and then hand that off to new Laura.
So let's just kind of see how that plays out.
I just want to thank everyone for coming to my seminar on
how to deal with dragons 101.
There's not going to be a 201.
Just a heads up on that.
Yeah, that seems fair.
Yeah.
Now, you know, I know a fair bit,
and I've got this this fun new headband that's,
see, it says here, no brain, no gain on it.
I'm real smart now.
That's a very nice headband, sir.
Thank you.
It's a it was it was it was a hard-won prize.
We'll put it that way.
And, you know, I'm real smart about dragons
and all this sort of stuff.
But I want to I want to hand things off to to one of my besties
because, well, this is this is her domain.
This is where she excels.
So, uh, New Laura, take the floor.
Thank you.
Thanks.
Thanks, Flynn.
Thank you.
There's a smattering of applause.
Really?
I imagine there'd be like a smoke machine
and then like all of a sudden it's not coming up.
It's New Laura.
Right.
She just steps out from behind the blackboard.
Basically.
Yeah, they could see her legs under
and they were like, who the fuck's back there?
Yeah, as Flint said, this is going to be 101
and then we're going straight into in-depth field study.
When we, you know, I'm all about book learning.
I was hoping to maybe do a couple practicums
before we got to in field learning, as you put it.
Well, I just feel like you should have started
a little a little while ago because we're almost there.
So whatever you can get done in like the next few days
would be great.
Book learning is very helpful.
Okay.
So if that's how you learn best,
this is an open classroom.
Whatever teaching methods are going to work best
for each of you.
Thanks.
I'd be like, shut up, nasty boy.
You learn now or you die.
And that's why Thea doesn't teach anyone anything.
I'm trying to be like inspirational,
but I don't know how to do that.
You're inspirational as fuck.
You're doing great.
I'm inspired.
Thea's listening from afar, being like,
oh God, I hope I can learn something
without actually participating in this.
I need to learn so much.
Unless you have anything in particular
that you want to use as your inspiration point,
we can, we can fast forward.
Oh no, thank God.
I thought you were really going to like throw me
a new bus there and be like,
so tell us what you know about fighting dragons,
new Laura.
Like, um, just about everything.
Oh, where do I start?
It hasn't gone well when we've tried in the past.
Basically every, I mean, I can tell you
if there are any within five miles of us right now.
Is that a skill that's helpful for anyone else?
No?
Great.
That'd be real nice if I could learn that.
So I could run the other way.
No, I mean, join the battle and go into the fray.
That's what I meant to say.
They've had their little fun scene.
Do you want to do anything?
I am riding alongside of a group of soldiers
who are also on horses.
No, I don't think what I'm going to do is going to work out.
Um, anyway, I'm wearing my cloak of displacement.
I, I say, I say, uh, I turned to one.
I'm like, hey, toss me one of those apples.
And he throws me an apple and it misses horribly
and just goes right through me.
And then he started laughing my ass off
from like three feet behind him.
Um, and I'm like, you like this?
You like this?
Got it from a bird.
What do you mean?
What do you mean a bird?
Yeah.
I mean, like we defeated a smart bird.
Oh.
And now I'm wearing its clothes.
That doesn't sound as cool as I thought it would
when I said it in my head.
Could you throw me another apple?
Um, an apple comes from a different direction
and hits your shoulder.
I don't catch it.
No, cause you didn't see this one coming.
I turned around.
Who threw that?
You see a young, uh, human, human female
probably around like early twenties.
And she is, she's riding a smaller horse
and she's got a pipe in her mouth
and she seems to be blowing bubbles.
Cause I threw it.
Oh yeah?
Yeah.
Well, you missed my hands over here
and I show her my middle finger.
I like this acrimony instantaneous showing up.
You're a little bit different than the stories I hear.
Oh no.
What stories are you hearing?
Oh, that you're, you're quite the hero.
Inspirational.
Now you're, you're taunting the soldiers around you.
Developing camaraderie.
Here, throw me another apple.
How many apples do you think I have?
I'm not sure.
She reaches into her bag and throws you another apple.
And in midair, I alter self and I
claw them into like little ribbons,
but then I catch them and then I eat them
while Ronnie makes the horse.
She is, uh, she is dumbstruck.
Oh good.
In awe.
Awesome.
That was what I was hoping for.
She hops off her horse and rushes over to you and says, uh.
Looks up at you on your giant, giant horse.
Like you're going to have to yell.
With some difficulty, um, and like she's struggling very hard.
She hops up with some, with some aid by you after you, you kind of.
I feel like I reached out and I grabbed like in behind like the bag of her shirt,
and I pull her over the side of the horse.
And she extends her hand and very with a big happy smile.
It says names, names Manin, Manin, cool enough.
I put my claws away because I don't want to be like, hi Manin.
God, I killed her.
Um, yeah, I put them away.
Yeah.
And I, and I shake her hand.
I say pleasure to meet you Manin.
Uh, yeah, I, I, I had heard stories.
I was just using that as an opportunity to come say hello.
Um, friendship by apple assault.
I mean, you, you did ask for an apple.
I like it.
No, it's fine.
I thought maybe you'd have like good refLexes, but it turns out you didn't.
So, so it goes.
Nobody's perfect.
They say never meet your heroes.
People did tell me that.
Did they tell you you'd be disappointed?
Yeah, I spent a lot of time in silvery moon and there was a lot of mixed stories.
Some good, some not so good.
Yeah.
I mean, I think just like just a general blanket.
You can't believe everything you hear.
Oh, that's fair.
Yeah, that's fair.
Um, I try to believe as many things as I hear, you know, is being a wandering,
wandering entertainer here.
But, uh, you're an entertainer.
I am.
Yes.
Would you, would you kindly entertain me?
But of course I would.
And she, uh, pulls from her back a, uh, a loot.
And she begins playing it for you while sitting eye to eye on top of tiny.
We are straddling facing each other.
It's a big horse.
Like, so yeah, I think worse.
I think it's still awkward.
Very, it's very intimate.
Very intimate.
It is up close and personal has taken on a new meaning.
It really has.
Okay.
Crotch to crotch with a stranger.
Just listening to her sweet loot tunes.
Oh, they're sweet.
I'm into it.
Yeah.
The final leg of your journey comes.
And each of you, wherever you are, are signaled to board the lead airship.
You climb aboard and you look out ahead of you.
The camera pans out, and we see our three heroes,
Flint, Thea, and New Laura, the inspirational decimators of dragons.
They began their journey together trying to find their own way in the land of Faerûn.
They set off into the wild, leaving their friends, families, and lives they knew to
seek a world of adventure, for some, seeking something greater, for others, coming across
their calling as the evils of the world made themselves known.
It's been a long road for them to find their own way.
To get to this point, standing atop the fleet of Waterdeep's lead airship,
soaring towards a land of darkness and despair.
The trio has seen and fought all manners of cultists, undead, devils, and dragons.
But nothing they have done to this point could prepare them for what they are about
to walk into. We see the faces of our heroes, steely-eyed, looking out at the oncoming storm.
We hear a rumble ahead as a cyclone is forming and spiraling above the desolate
sunset mountains. We see lightning crash and hear the rumble of thunder intermix
with the call of the dracorn coming from deep inside the mountain range. The eerie,
low rumble that, if not for the task at hand, would stop every person in their tracks.
Because what it calls can now be seen, rising and circling the infamous well of dragons.
Wings flapping and roars can be heard echoing off the mountain peaks,
as if answering the call of the heroes' forces. The call to battle.
We pan away from the oncoming dragon horde, rushing toward our heroes to see the full
might of the allied forces of Faerûn. The combination of races marching together
is not something that has ever been seen at this scale. Elves, humans, dwarves,
and metallic dragons, treants, lycanthropes, and goblins united together.
Trained military, homegrown militia, and those here to make sure good will rise with the sun
on the next day.
The echoing, percussive steps of the ground troops move in unison with the sound of the
bard's drums as dwarven siege weapons roll forward like the sound of thunder.
The cavalry runs wide, closing the ground between them and the enemy forces.
Dozens of airships loaded with red wizards, archers, arcane brotherhood,
and dwarven artillery intermix with gargantuan metallic dragons as the protective magics of
the arcane brotherhood surround the allies in a halo of blue, green, and purple auras.
Ahead of it all, a writhing, moaning force of Zaz'tam's undead army
moves to feast on the forces now showing themselves over the rolling hills.
A blast and a wall of red force moves swiftly towards the allies from the epicentre of the
well of dragons. Sent out from the exiled red wizards, striking the protective shields
of the arcane brotherhood, warping it and fighting to get in.
We now see the full force of the cult of the dragon.
Mercenaries, wizards, undead, and dragons. Hundreds of dragons.
The thunderous, lumbering footsteps of stone and fire giants barrel down the rolling hills
as portals open to the left and right, devils pouring out from them into the material flame.
As you near and as the time is clearly upon you,
what is going through the minds of Flint, Thea, and Nularaaaa?
Fuuuuck.
Yep, that's about it.
Hello there! Welcome to the middle of the show. It's me, your dungeon master, Russ More,
and today we're trying something different because I didn't get to say this in the episode
yet. And everyone else is here with me. Say hello everybody!
Hey everybody!
Thanks for joining us for episode 75 of Dumbgeons and Dragons,
the beginning of the end. And hoo boy, it's real intense right now, isn't it?
So tense.
Super intense.
I'm very overwhelmed.
If you're liking how intense it is and you're liking the show,
maybe you've binged your way through in just a few short days or you've been with
us since the beginning, we invite you to visit us over on Patreon. Patreon.com
cast where you can sign up and be part of the Dumbgeons and Dragons inner circle.
All the closest-knit people who just enjoy the show so much and you can talk with them on the
Discord. I mean, you can talk with anybody on the Discord, but patrons get a special
private channels where they can ask us anything they want.
Sure.
Anything that comes off the top of your head.
They get to see our dumb faces once a month, certain tiers. We do like a Google hangout
with folks and there's like whole other shows, like whole other stories that we're telling over
there.
Absolutely. And that's just, that's at the base level. You get all those extra stories,
all the bonus content. We've got, what is it? 11 episodes of The Adventures of.
It's like 13 episodes at this point now.
Six episodes of The Fatecore. Now we're in the season two of The Adventures of.
So yeah, whole bunch of episodes, all there and lots of other great stuff there.
Patreon.com slash dumb dragon cast. But if you're unable to join Patreon,
we totally understand that. And you might be saying, guys, how else can I help out the show?
Wow.
It's a great question, Russ.
I find myself asking that all the time. And then they're like,
Amy, read your notes and like do your homework and stuff. And I'm like, no.
Well, luckily for us, Russ, people can go and leave us reviews on different places.
Right. Where can they do that?
Like iTunes or Facebook or a bunch of other things.
Stitcher?
Stitcher. Yeah. Podchaser. Yeah.
Perfect. Like some of these folks who we're going to,
we're just going to gloat about for a second because of how awesome they are
and how awesome they are to us.
Daryl Johnson says these guys are hilariously hilarious.
Kiyote McDermott says me no good writer.
Flynn make ha ha ha Nulara send newts.
Thea give Donnie nom nom.
Russ make good story.
And then in brackets, he says, seriously, this group is quite enjoyable to listen to.
So much so their Patreon, even at their lowest tier, is well worth it.
I look forward to hearing from them as they grow.
So this one is called Just a Solid Bucket of Fun by 1987Chucky says Russ and the players
are just an absolute joy to listen to the funny intros to each episode and the bloopers
at the end are a great way to bookend the fantastic role playing in the middle.
It's definitely in my favorites.
And then this one is from Todd P dog.
I love people's names on iTunes.
It's hilarious.
It says outstanding cast curious about tabletop RPGs.
Thinking of playing either again or the first time then give this podcast a spin.
Even if tabletop RPGs are not your thing,
you will still be entertained by this outstanding cast of characters.
Think old school radio programs meet the 21st century with a heaping helping
of laugh out loud comedy.
Cannot stress how much I enjoy this program.
Your hard work is appreciated and thoroughly enjoyed.
This is also from iTunes from a dude, despite the name from Finland,
Laurie is the name, an absolutely fantastic podcast.
I found this quite by accident a month or so ago and binged through the whole show.
I really, really enjoy the story and the characters and these guys seem to have
a genuinely good chemistry behind the scenes as well.
Keep up the good work, you doinks.
It shall live on.
That will be my legacy.
I think it might be.
It really will be.
Child.
Grape stone.
It'll just be you doinks.
You doinks.
I love it.
And then great actual play by big tree seven from Canada.
I have trouble finding actual play podcasts that I enjoy,
but this one is an exception to that.
Russ is a great DM.
The players are awesome and the story is compelling.
It's great to listen to a show that keeps the die rolling,
the funny moments, the level ups and all.
We got all of it.
We got it all.
Thank you for noticing.
All of that.
Thanks, guys.
Those are so awesome.
These people, you guys can't see our faces right now,
but it's just like big dumb grins.
We're just like, ah, it's too much.
Thanks to everybody.
We'll be reading more reviews.
We have a whole bunch more that we kind of just have been stockpiling.
But you can leave one, please.
So great if you could.
They make our day when one of us finds it and then posts it to Discord.
And it's like, guys, guys, guys, guys, guys, guys.
Every time it's like it happens for the first time.
I mean, reviews are what a lot of podcasts do is they say,
oh, you know, they help us in the rankings and the reviews.
For us, it just makes us feel good.
Oh, so good.
I mean, we love it.
We can see that people are listening by downloads and that sort of thing.
But it's nice to hear back from people specifically saying
who go out of their way to do an extra step and say,
hey, what you're doing is awesome.
So thank you.
Yeah, thank you.
And we will read it and we will say thank you.
And you will be forever immortalized in episode.
Insert episode here that you get immortalized in.
And also, if you don't have time to write a review,
you can always just rate us.
That's totally great, too.
Ratings definitely help.
So thank you to everybody for doing that.
Links are in the description where you can find all the ways
that you can rate or review and anything that we mentioned previously
in the episode today, you can find those down below,
including where you can find our Discord,
the Dumbgeons and Dragons specific Discord
and the Reckless Play Guild Facebook group
where you can get to know us.
And in turn, we can get to know more about you.
Final thanks to Sirenscape for some of the amazing atmosphere
in today's episode.
Make sure you check them out at sirenscape.com
to bring your games to life.
The next episode, it'll be out next Wednesday, March 13th.
And I'm not going to tell you what's happening in it, though,
because so much could happen after after
Flinthi and Ulara pick up their jaws off the deck of the airship.
Right, guys?
Right?
Right.
Right?
Speaking of which, let's get back to it.
So enjoy the rest of the episode and have a great week.
We'll talk to you soon.
Bye.
Shit.
Yeah, I think he is thinking like,
well, I had definitely like downplayed this in my head.
Hundreds of dragons?
That's not.
Yeah, Flint is totally just blown away by the amount
of dragons that he sees.
Like devils.
Like portals left it like devils to left me.
Dragons to the right.
Here I am.
Are we all like standing together at the front of this airship?
Pretty much just like I reach down and I grab their hands.
Like, I need to hold a hand right now.
Somebody hold my hand.
Yeah, totally.
Totally.
And I reach my other hand up and I'm like rubbing my two amulets.
Like, oh, my God.
Oh, protect me, please.
Like, please let this extra little bit of strength I have,
like, get us through this.
I also am thinking like, thank God I went home.
Like, oh, fuck.
We're going to die.
Yeah, Flint's giving it a cool, cool, cool, cool, cool.
Like you said, cool, like way too many times we're concerned about him.
He's still saying still going.
For every dragon he sees, it gets a cool.
Fia's having a moment and like looks down at Flint like,
like, do I hit him?
How do I?
He's skipping again.
How do I snap him out of this?
Yeah.
What does what does what's Bort thinking in Flint's head there?
Bort's just kind of like if Bort was able to be kicked back with his feet up,
that's what Bort's thinking right now because he's
super stoked that he's not in charge of this.
Yes, you hear a, in comparison, a small voice coming from behind you of Leosun
and he says, are you, are you ready?
I mean, I don't really think anybody could be ready for this, but,
you know, I'm here with my friends.
This is, this was, this was the job and we're going to make it happen.
We, all of us, and he signals around to everyone surrounding you and you now see
all of the leaders of the various factions, Lady Silverhand,
Dagult Neverember, Conrad Broninville,
King Melandrich, they're all surrounding you.
We are here and it is our job to get to you as close as we can
to one of the entrances to the Well of the Dragons.
Can I raise my hand a little bit?
Yes, Thea.
Is it smart to have all the leaders on one airship?
We are protected for the time being.
Okay.
How many, how many entrances are there?
Six known entrances that we have mapped out based on some of our
spies from the Harpers in Zhentar.
The ones along the north and west of the mountain are said to get you
closest to Tiamat's temple.
However, you will likely run into the most difficulty getting through those tunnels,
being as that's where the majority of their forces
will be found that aren't charging towards us.
Right, so we don't exactly have the element of surprise happening here.
We are hoping that you specifically will
have more surprise than what we have, as they clearly see us coming.
Right, so we should take the back door.
Do you, have you sussed out what is the best of the six entrances?
It sounds like north and west are not
great options for the three of us going in alone.
Like I said, they will, they will pose the need for the being the,
the quietest you can be, or the most efficient in the way you dispatch of anybody you come across,
where those lead is directly into the temple.
If you are to enter along the southern face, yes, you will run into fewer forces,
but you will be farther from the temple's entrance
and have to make your way across the caldera to the temple.
And I mean, time definitely seems to be of the essence here, so...
Yes.
What are you, what are you guys thinking? I'm, I mean, short of root, right?
Yeah, I mean, we're, we're here, let's, let's get in there and get chopping people up.
I mean, that's what I always say.
What do you, what do you guys lean into words?
That's two options. Both are somewhat close.
There are three entrances along the north and west side.
Okay, three options.
Whichever one we're closest to, where are we coming in from?
I guess wherever you can,
I mean, obviously you're not going to pull the airship up and drop us off
outside the entrance door, I assume.
No. It doesn't seem tactically like the best idea.
Might be telegraphing it a little bit.
A little bit.
What we can plan is granting you potions of invisibility and get you as close to
the location as we can. You will still have to make your way.
So when it's Russ's idea, invisibility potions are A-okay, understood.
I'll take seven.
We have one for each of you.
What if I drop mine?
Don't be clumsy.
Don't make the DM mad.
Why are you under the bear again?
This is exactly what happened last time three years ago.
That we still won't let go of.
Full circle.
I can't remember what city we're coming from right after he says it,
but I remember that one time.
Before you moved to Korea, maybe the first time we played, we made you drop that potion.
How long do the potions last?
Not shelf life.
How long will they make you invisible?
I mean, we can guarantee nothing, but we hope that it will allow you to pass through
the horde as quickly as possible.
Without being seen.
Okay, didn't answer the question.
We hope it will last until you get to the entrances.
Cool, no fucking around, get to the entrance.
What would we say the terrain is here?
Volcano?
Leading up to the surrounding well of the dragons, farmland, rolling hills,
leading up to the mountain.
Well, as long as it's not sand.
Nope, no sand.
That would be awesome.
I was just asking because of my favorite terrain, like,
makes me real hard to track and whatnot.
Forest, swamp, coast, it's not really any of those things.
I guess I'll just have to count on being invisible.
Whatever, Russ.
Once you're inside, we know that Severn's plans are in motion.
We don't know how long until his ritual begins,
or once it begins, how long it will take for him to open the portal
and for Tiamat to come through.
So yes, speed is of the essence.
Now about this portal, is it like one big portal that she can just stroll through,
or is it like a smaller portal that she has to put like each individual dragon head through
one at a time and she has to like take her time to get through there?
He looks at you a little uncertain.
He's like, well, if I were the red wizards and Severn,
I would aim for a large portal.
But then again, who knows?
Okay, all right, just, you know, just spitball in here, just looking for ideas.
Yeah, nope, that's fair.
I mean, we can only hope that they open tiny, tiny portals and she is thwarted
before ever making it to the material plane.
Well, the good news is it sounds like a very simple plan.
Get invisible, get inside, kill all the people between us and Severn,
kill Severn, stop the ritual.
That is the goal.
I mean, that's a simple enough plan for us to do it, guys.
I mean, the bad news is all of that that's going on.
Yep, yep, that is bad.
But our plan, just a couple steps so we can probably remember it.
That's good.
He hands you four potions
and as he does so, the cult's forces strike into the shield that has been put up
and you see it beginning to waver.
Well, we ready to party?
Always.
Well, bottoms up, I guess.
Cheers.
What does it taste like?
Cream soda.
Oh, see, I was picturing like that chalky penicillin kind of thing.
I don't know why.
Oh gosh, I hope not.
That's what I pictured.
It's not actually penicillin.
Don't worry, you're safe.
Amy would die.
Whatever you imagine is what it tastes like.
Oh, I wish I imagined something I liked the taste of better.
No, you got penicillin.
I imagined water.
I was like, it's a tasteless substance because I'm going to be like clear, like invisible.
Like water is invisible.
Nobody can see it.
No one ever can see it.
It's the weirdest thing.
It was, it made sense.
Yeah.
As you take the potion and look at it, it looks vaguely familiar
and it doesn't look like there's liquid actually in it,
but the weight of it feels like there is liquid.
Oh, we have some of these.
Well, that was hidden talents, though.
Was the empty one.
Am I going to start break dancing?
Because that's my hidden talent.
Maybe.
As you finish the potions, Leosun looks at you and as you begin to disappear, he says, good luck.
And the leaders of all the factions bow or salute, depending on their customs,
and they go to their posts and to their forces.
I have a question.
That's the word I was looking for.
Can invisible people see other invisible people?
Are we all just running as if I'm alone?
No.
Yeah, that's a good question.
Oh, that's a really good question.
Nobody knows.
One of us falls in a hole.
Or we have to give away constantly just weird positions because we're like,
guys, I'm over here.
I'm by the big tree.
I'm by the big rock.
Totally.
Okay, so we can see one another because we all took the same badge.
It's magic.
It works.
You are now invisible.
Okay.
Did we belay down off the airship?
Because that's totally what I pictured like.
Yeah, 100%.
One handed.
Down.
It looked so rad.
I mean, it didn't.
It looked like nothing.
Oh, that's true.
Yeah.
We all thought we all looked cool.
But like the ropes were gently swaying in the wind.
Nobody saw our awesome exit.
Exactly.
He's like, oh, okay, they're gone.
Actually, guys, we're still here.
Leave.
You have shit to do.
Right.
Yes, you belay down as the shield lets free
and the ground forces collide with devils.
Who were at the front of the line into the undead army of the red wizards.
You land in the middle of this.
You begin nimbly moving through the forces around you.
You duck underneath giants throwing huge hammers and axes towards the allied forces.
Up in the air, you see metallic dragons and chromatic dragons
coming head to head and tearing each other wing to wing.
The airships begin being attacked by flame breaths from far away
and quickly they begin to fall.
You make it through and you are surrounded
by giants and mercenaries all rushing forward
as the mass of soldiers focuses on this center point.
The dwarven artillery begin firing, knocking giants out in front of you.
Three of you make a dexterity saving throw.
Nineteen.
Oh, that was without any bonuses.
Twenty-one.
Twenty.
Not yet.
Sixteen.
A giant falls directly in front of you and you nimbly leap up and over top of it.
Guys, we're so fucking nimble.
We're so goddamn nimble.
To your left in a heaped mess
a blue dragon falls to the ground with a bronze dragon on top of it, tearing it apart.
As the mercenaries begin climbing on top of that same bronze dragon
and stabbing it, piercing it with their lances.
High atop a mountain's ridge you see the exiled red wizards
hurling black and red magics down at the arcane brotherhood
and the rival red wizards that's colliding in the air.
And this energy, this necromantic energy, meaning this healing energy is coming together
and creating explosions in the air that rain down top everybody you are passing.
You make it to the mountainside, the war raging on behind you
and you come between the north and the western edge.
Before we go up there, do we turn around like heroes do to look down at all the fighting
and where we really feel like what we're doing is so important
and this is where the gravity of it really sets in
as we see our kin and our fellow man and beast fighting
all on the same side against the forces of evil.
Yeah.
Yeah, yeah you do.
I think they really needed that moment to really serious up.
You have a choice of a very northern entrance, a western entrance
or scouting around the mountain to go find something else.
Well, that third option sounds terrible.
Yeah, no, let's not.
It doesn't sound like a good option.
We know where two entrances are already.
I don't want to go looking for another one.
So guys, what do you think?
A or B?
Should we Iny, Moony, Miny, Mosey this thing?
Yes, please do it aloud.
That's exactly what we should do.
And when I say we, I mean you.
Okay, Iny, Moony, Miny, Mosey, catch a tiger by its toesy.
If you let him gozy, Iny, Moony, Miny, Mosey, we go north.
So says my childhood.
I loved it.
It was a delight.
Screams of soldiers ring out in the air as you Iny, Moony, Miny, Mosey.
I think I was fairly consistent too.
I know you nailed it.
You totally nailed it.
Russ is right to point out the
weird inappropriateness of us doing it that way.
My inner child was coming out at this moment.
I was just striving for the innocence in a moment of just horror.
Your inner child is quickly quelled as you turn and see the devastation behind you
as the give and take of the allied forces and the cult's forces are at an extreme.
You come to the northernmost point in which you can find an entrance
and you enter one of the tunnels leading into the well of dragons.
It's dark, it's musty, and you hear voices coming from down the halls up ahead of you.
Some of the music in today's episode is by Kavin McLeod of incompetech.filmmusic.io
and Scott Buckley at scottbuckley.com.au.
Dumbgeons and Dragons is a dumb dragons production.